Limerence is a sudden and overpowering feeling of being obsessed with someone. It is difficult to shake off. Here’s tips on how to overcome limerence, what can cure it and what lessons you need to learn from it.
We’ve all heard of love at first sight, but have you ever heard of limerence? Limerence is a term used to describe the initial stages of falling in love.
Typically characterized by feelings of euphoria, passion, and intense longing for the object of one’s affection, limerence can be extremely difficult to overcome. But don’t worry, we are here to help! Keep reading for tips on how to overcome limerence and find true love.
What Is Limerence?
Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and is typically accompanied by intense feelings of admiration and desire.
Limerent people may feel that they cannot control their emotions and may obsessively think about the object of their affection. Limerence is not the same as love, although it may lead to love if reciprocated.
It is also different from infatuation, usually based on physical attraction without the accompanying emotional bond. Limerence is sometimes described as a “crush” or “love addiction.”
Stages Of Limerence
The Three stages of limerence are infatuation, crystallization, and deterioration.
Infatuation is the initial stage of limerence, characterized by intense feelings of attraction, excitement, and preoccupation with the object of one’s affection. This stage is often marked by obsessive thinking, fantasizing about the person, and a strong desire to be with them.
Crystallization is the second stage of limerence. During this, the intensity of the emotions begins to wane, and they become more focused on the physical aspects of their relationship. This is often accompanied by decreased sexual desire and increased feelings of insecurity and jealousy.
Deterioration is the third stage of limerence, during which the relationship begins to break down, and the limerent object becomes less critical to the limerent. This is often marked by decreased communication, increased conflict, and general dissatisfaction.
You might also like to read: How To Deal With Infidelity Biblically?
Symptoms of Limerence
Here are some common limerence symptoms:
- Intrusive thinking about the limerent object: Constantly thinking about the person you are limerent for, even when you don’t want to. Imagine what they’re doing, who they’re with, and wondering what they’re thinking.
- Heightened emotional state: Feeling elated one minute and down in the dumps the next. You may feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster ride that you can’t get off of.
- Anxiety and agitation: Feeling anxious or restless when you’re around a limerent object or when you think about them. You may also feel like your heart is racing or that you can’t catch your breath.
- Behavioral changes: Acting differently than you normally would around the limerent object. You may dress differently, talk differently, or even change your hairstyle to capture their attention.
- Physical reactions: Experiencing physical reactions, such as sweating, blushing, or butterflies in your stomach, when you’re around a limerent object.
- Intense focus on the limerent object: Unable to think about anything else but the limerent thing. You may daydream about them or spend hours looking at their pictures online.
- Denial of limerence: Trying to convince yourself that you don’t have these feelings for the limerent object. You may tell yourself that they’re just friends or that you’re not interested in them.
- Fear of rejection: Being afraid of being rejected by a limerent object. You may worry that they don’t feel the same way about you or that they would never want to be with someone like you.
- Hope for reciprocation: secretly hoping that the limerent object will return your feelings. You may find yourself daydreaming about what it would be like if they were to confess their love for you.
- Limerence addiction: Becoming addicted to the feeling of limerence. You may find yourself obsessing over the person you’re limerent for and unable to focus on anything else. This can lead to problems in your personal and professional life.
How Does Limerence Start?
Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic or sexual attraction to another person and is typically accompanied by intense feelings of joy, anxiety, preoccupation with the object of one’s interest, and obsessive thinking about the person. It is sometimes referred to as being “head over heels” in love. Limerence can sometimes even border on obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Limerence can occur without the person being aware of it, but it is more likely to happen when some physical contact happens, such as flirting or kissing.
It can also occur when two people share intimate thoughts or secrets. The feeling of limerence is intense and can be all-consuming, making it hard for the person to think about anything else.
Limerence is different from love, although it can often lead to love. Love is a more profound emotion based on trust, respect, and commitment, whereas limerence is more of a surface feeling that is usually short-lived.
However, limerence can sometimes turn into love if the two people involved continue to grow closer and develop a strong emotional bond.
Limerence can be a positive experience if it leads to love, but it can also be damaging if it causes obsession and jealousy. If you think you might be experiencing limerence, you must talk to someone about it to understand better what you are going through.
You might also like to read: How To Get Over Someone Who Ghosted You?
The Vital Signs That You’re Experiencing Limerence
Limerence is a strong, sometimes overwhelming feeling of attraction and emotional attachment to another person. Though it is often described as a “crush,” limerence is much more intense than a typical crush and can last for years. If you think you might be experiencing limerence, here are some critical signs to look out for:
1. You can’t stop thinking about the other person.
If you’re limerent, thoughts of the object of your affections will constantly occupy your mind. You may find yourself daydreaming about being with them or fantasizing about what it would be like to be in a romantic relationship with them. These thoughts can become all-consuming, to the point where it’s hard to focus on anything else.
2. You feel a strong urge to be near the other person.
When you’re limerent, you may feel an almost irresistible urge to be near the object of your affections. This can manifest itself in many ways, from constantly trying to bump into them or “accidentally” running into them to stalking them on social media or going out of your way to find excuses to talk to them.
3. You feel nervous or anxious around the other person.
Limerence can cause intense feelings of nervousness and anxiety, particularly when you’re around the object of your affections. You may find yourself fidgeting, blushing, or having difficulty speaking when they’re around. You may also feel like you’re being constantly assessed by them and worry about making a good impression.
4. You obsessively think about what they’re doing.
When you’re limerent, you may find yourself fixated on what the other person is doing and who they’re with. This can lead to jealous thoughts and feelings and a constant need for reassurance from the other.
5. Your self-esteem depends on your attention.
Limerence can cause a roller coaster of emotions, from joy when the object of your affections pays you attention to crushing disappointment when they don’t. This can harm your self-esteem, as your emotional dependence on your limerent object can cause you to feel worthless.
If you’re experiencing any of these signs, seeking help is essential. Limerence can be all-consuming and destructive, and getting support is necessary if you’re struggling with it. Many resources are available to help you deal with limerence, so don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
You might also like to read: How To Deal With A Narcissist Husband Biblically?
What Is The Experience of Limerence Like In A Relationship?
Characteristics of limerence in a relationship include:
- Intrusive thinking about the other person – often to the point of obsession
- A strong desire to be with the other person and feel close to them
- Constant yearning for attention and affirmation from the other person
- Feelings of anxiety and insecurity when the relationship is not going well
- A tendency to idealize the other person and see them as perfect
- Fear of rejection or abandonment
- difficulties in concentrating on anything else when the limerent object is around.
Limerence is not necessarily bad, but it can be if it starts to take over someone’s life and become fixated on the other person to the point where it interferes with their work, social life, and other relationships. If you think you might be suffering from limerence, it is essential to seek help from a professional who can advise you on dealing with it.
How To Deal With Limerence In A Relationship?
Limerence is a passionate feeling that is often associated with love. If you are in a relationship, the limerence can be tricky. It can be all-consuming and make you feel like you are constantly longing for the person you are attracted to. Here are some tips on how to deal with limerence in your relationship:
1. Don’t try to fight it.
Limerence is a natural feeling and is not something you can turn off. Trying to fight it will only make it stronger. Accept that you are feeling limerent and focus on redirecting that energy into positive things, such as your relationship or other hobbies and interests.
2. Talk to your partner about it.
If you feel limerent for someone other than your partner, you must talk to them about it. This can be a difficult conversation, but it is necessary to keep your relationship strong. Be honest with your partner and explain that you feel limerent for someone else, but still love and value them.
3. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship.
When you feel limerent for someone else, it is easy to focus on the negatives of your relationship. However, this will only make you feel worse and damage your relationship. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and remind yourself why you are with your partner.
4. Don’t act on your limerence.
It is important to remember that limerence is just a feeling, and it does not necessarily mean that you want to act on it. If you work on your limerence, it could potentially damage your relationship. Therefore, it is best to ignore the feelings and focus on your relationship.
5. Seek professional help.
If you are struggling to deal with limerence, seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand the feeling and how to deal with it healthily.
You might also like to read: How To Deal With Workers Comp Doctors?
What Is The Cure For Limerence?
There is no surefire cure for limerence, but there are some things that may help lessen its intensity or duration. These include:
- Being firmly rejected by the Limerent object can help snap you out of the web of obsession and infatuation that limerence can create. If the object of your limerence is not interested in you, it can be a hard pill to swallow, but it can also be a relief.
- Starving the limerence: Deliberately avoiding contact or thoughts about the limerent object. It can be challenging, but it may help to take your mind off the object of your obsession.
- Transferring the limerence to someone else can be done by finding someone interested in you and focusing your attention on them instead. It may not be easy, but it can help you feel better and take your mind off the object of your limerence.
- Entering a relationship with the Limerent Object: This may not be possible or desirable for everyone, but if it is an option, it can help to quell the intensity of the limerence. Being in a committed relationship with the object of your limerence can help lessen the feelings of obsession and infatuation.
Lessons to Learn From Limerence Unrequited Love
It can feel like there’s no way out when you’re in the throes of limerence unrequited love. But there are lessons to be learned from this experience, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Here are four of them.
1. That feeling of obsession isn’t real love.
When you’re limerent to someone, it’s easy to believe that the intense feelings must mean that you’re really in love with them.
But the truth is, those feelings aren’t based on anything real or lasting – they’re just infatuation. Learning this lesson can help you see future relationships more clearly, and avoid getting caught up in the same cycle again.
2. It’s okay to be single.
Limerence can make you feel incomplete without the object of your affection, but that isn’t true. Being single doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you – it just means that you’re not in a relationship right now. And that’s perfectly okay.
3. You don’t need someone else to be happy.
One of the most essential lessons from limerence is that your happiness doesn’t depend on another person. You can be happy, even if the special person you’re limerent for never returns your feelings. Don’t wait for someone else to make you happy – focus on finding happiness within yourself instead.
4. It’s not always going to be like this.
When you’re amid limerence, it can feel like the intensity of your feelings will never fade. But eventually, they will – and when they do, you’ll be able to look back on this experience and see it for what it was: a phase you’ve now moved on from.
You might also like to read: How To Handle Someone Who Wants To Destroy You?
How Long Does Limerence Last?
Limerence can last for an average duration of 18 months to 3 years. If you find yourself in a limerent relationship, it’s essential to be honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings and intentions. Otherwise, limerence can cause problems in your life and your relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions
What makes limerence end?
Several factors can contribute to the end of limerence. Time is often a significant factor, as limerence generally fades after two years. If the limerent object is unavailable or uninterested, that can lead to the end of limerence. Finally, if the limerent individual begins to focus on other aspects of their life and develop other interests, that can help end limerence.
Is limerence a mental illness?
Limerence is not recognized as a mental illness by any central psychiatric diagnostic manual. However, some experts believe that it may warrant further study as a possible condition.
Limerence is a condition that should not be taken lightly. It can seriously impact your life and the lives of those around you. If you are experiencing limerence, it is essential to seek help from a professional. Many resources are available to you, and getting help is essential before the condition worsens.