Circumstances may force you to give up a child, but it is hard to forget about the bond completely. We look at how to find a child given up for adoption, and how you can find your birth parents if you were adopted.
There are several instances when a parent who has given up a child for adoption wishes to reunite with the child. Often siblings also want to reunite with their siblings given up for adoption.
Whatever the reason might be, finding a child given up for adoption who may be an adult now can be difficult. Today a birth mother can have an open or semi-open relationship with their child, but earlier, adoptions were closed. Birth mothers did not have any contact with the child. However, there are several ways to help people find a child given up for adoption.
How Do I Find A Child I Gave Up For Adoption?
There are two different options through which you can go about when looking to find a child you gave up for adoption. Some of the biological parents go with a passive search method.
Passive Search
In this method, instead of the biological parent searching for their child, they put information about the adoption and themselves in places where their child can find it. So if the child they have given up for adoption ever decides to look for their parents, they will be able to find them easily.
Active Search
The second method is the active search method. In this method, the birth family themselves decide to have contact with their biological child and start actively gathering as much information as possible about the child. If you have decided to go with the active search method, below are the steps you need to follow.
Privacy Laws Vary By State
The privacy-related laws vary from state to state. Gather information about the adoption-related regulations in the state where you gave your child up for adoption. Depending upon how strict the privacy regulations are, you may be able to get copies of the adoption papers by filing a request application, or you may have to petition for the same.
You might also like to read: Can You Adopt Your Sibling?
Gather Information
The second step would be to gather as much information as possible about your birth child. You can talk to the people who helped you with getting your child adopted. It can be your adoption agency or your lawyer.
They may have some old records with the last name of the family who adopted your child or an address. In some cases, the adoption agency remains in contact with the adoptive family and may be able to contact them for you.
Adoption Registry
You can sign up for the registry. This registry helps if your birth child is also looking for you. If your child is already on the registry service or joins after, you will get a notification about it. Some states even have an adoption reunion registry.
Online Methods
You can also get help from several online agencies that help reunite adopted children with their birth parents. Use whatever information you have to help your case. If you know the birth location and the date of birth of your child, you have something you can start with. It is even better if you have met the adoptive parents and know their names.
Private Investigator
Some people even go as far as hiring a private investigator to search for their birth child. Now, whatever reason you may have for looking for your birth child, make sure that you are prepared for it emotionally.
You might also like to read: Adopting Vs. Having Your Own Child – Pros And Cons
How Do I Find Free Adoption Records?
To find free adoption records, the first place you should look for is the adoption agency that has overseen the adoption of your birth child. If you know which agency finalized your child’s adoption, you will be able to get the non-identifying information about your child from them.
Non identifying information
The non-identifying information will include the child’s birth, nationality, and age of the birth parents. Any additional information such as contact address will only be accessible if the birth and adoptive parents have signed a consent form stating that.
Many states have a mandate to seal the adoption records of a child. In such a case, you will have to find a petition in the court for that, but it won’t be free.
How To Find a Birth Mother To Adopt From?
You can find a birth mother to adopt in two different ways.
- Finding a birth mother with the help of an agency.
- Finding a birth mother on your own.
You might also like to read: How Much Does It Cost To Adopt My Grandchild?
Finding a birth mother with the help of an agency
The first step to finding a birth mother is to find an adoption agency to work with and then make your adoption plan. Complete all the necessary steps like arranging the documents, undergoing an adoption home study, and specifying your preference of the birth mother.
Once all these steps are completed, you must wait for a birth mother to choose your profile. You can shorten the time you wait by being open to your preference of birth mother based on her race, medical history, and other criteria.
If you broaden your preference for birth mothers, your agency will show your profile to more birth mothers, and the chances of finding one increase significantly.
Finding a birth mother on your own
When looking for a birth mother on your own, you will have to rely on your social connections, websites for adoption, ads, and referrals from adoption attorneys. In an independent adoption, you will have to find a birth mother first and then proceed with the remaining steps of the adoption.
How Do You Find A Child That Has Been Adopted?
You can follow the following steps to find a child that has been adopted.
- Gather as much information about the child and the adoptive parents as possible.
- Consult the adoption agency that has overseen the adoption of the child.
- Look for the child on the adoption reunion registry online.
- Petition the court to gain access to the adoption papers.
- If nothing works, then you can hire an adoption investigator.
You might also like to read: Legal Guardianship Vs. Adoption
How To Find Birth Parents In A Closed Adoption?
In the case of closed adoption, it becomes complicated to find the birth parents. Try to gather as much information as possible, like the birth date of the child, birth location, and the age and nationality of the birth parents.
Try looking for the parents on an online registry, as many birth parents also wish to reconnect with their child. You can also try DNA matching to find a match. The last step would be to hire a detective who deals with adoption cases.
How To Find Parents Of Adopted Child?
If you wish to find the parents of an adopted child, then the first step would be to ask the adoptive parents if they have any information about the birth parents. You can also check for the adoption reunion registry to see if there is a match, as many times, the birth parents also wish to reunite with their children.
You can also petition your adoption records. However, how easy or tough it would be to get the records would depend on the state laws. You can also try contacting the person or the agency who facilitated your adoption.
Frequently Asked Questions (3-4 only)
Is it possible to trace an adopted child?
Yes, it is possible to trace an adopted child. Gather as much information as possible about the child and the adoptive parents. Then talk to the agency that facilitated the adoption. You can also check the adoption reunion registry. Hiring an adoption detective is also good if you don’t have much to work with.
What is an adoption search angel?
An adoption search angel is a person who voluntarily spends their time and energy to find the birth family of an adopted child or vice versa.
How do you deal with an adoption reunion?
Adoption reunion can be overwhelming. Before going for a reunion, make sure you are mentally and emotionally prepared for it. If you think you are greatly affected by the reunion, make sure that you talk to a professional counselor about it.
Wrap Up
Finding a child you have given up for adoption can be difficult without the correct information. We have covered the ways you can go when finding a child you have given up for adoption. Thank you for reading the article. We hope that you were able to find the answers to your queries. If you have any further doubts, do write to us in the comments section and we will try to address them.