Your parents divorcing can be hard on you, no matter what the age. Here are a few tips on how to deal with parents divorce in your 20s, what all might change for you, and what you can expect in the years to come.
The number of couples getting divorced yearly is increasing in the US, with the divorce rate as high as 50% of married couples.
Divorce is never easy on a couple and certainly not on the kids. The period of divorce is a hard time for both the parents, the children, and other family members.
Dealing with parents’ separation can feel like the end of a crucial moment in anyone’s life and a devastating blow to the family. But one needs to remember that it results from issues between parents and is not your fault.
Thus, it is essential to acknowledge your feelings rather than suppressing them, as it is normal to experience intense and confusing emotions during this time.
The Impact of Divorce on Adult
The psychological effects of divorce on children are far-reaching. Studies have shown that children of divorced parents are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues than those raised in intact families. For adult children in their 20s, the impact of a parental divorce can be especially hard.
These psychological effects can be long-lasting, impacting your relationships, careers, and overall sense of well-being. In addition to the emotional challenges, young adult children of divorce often have to deal with increased financial instability and conflict between their parents.
Despite the challenges, there is hope. Adult children of divorced parents can learn how to cope with their emotions and build healthy relationships. With time and support, they can eventually overcome the negative impact of divorce on their lives.
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How To Cope When Parents Divorce In Your 20s?
Don’t blame yourself
You may be dealing with your parents’ divorce in your twenties. This can be a difficult time in your life, and it is essential to remember not to blame yourself.
You may feel like you should have been able to do something to prevent the divorce, but this is not the case. Your parents are adults and are capable of making their own decisions.
Lean on your support system
No one ever said that dealing with parents’ divorce in your 20s would be easy, but with a robust support system, it can be a lot less daunting. Lean on your friends and family for support. Have a conversation about what you are feeling with someone you can trust.
They will be there for you when you need them. Don’t bottle up your emotions. It’s important to talk about how you’re feeling and what’s going on in your life.
Acknowledge your feelings
To see their parents getting divorced is not an easy thing, especially if you are in your twenties. It’s normal to cry, shout, throw a tantrum, feel frustrated, and isolate yourself (while processing everything). It is critical to allow yourself to feel and go through each stage, your channels for communication need to be open.
To deny it’s happening, be angry or sad, wish for a different outcome, and have a few tantrums. That is perfectly acceptable. But don’t get trapped in one of the stages of grief.
Manage your emotions
Due to the divorce, you may feel a massive rise in feelings. Prepare for a new normal, whether you expected or not your parents to divorce.
It will be easy to convince yourself that you are too old to be upset about it, but suppressing your feelings will prevent you from moving forward. People of all ages experience confusion, dread, regret, rage, and other emotions.
You might also like to read: How To Get Over A Divorce After A Long Marriage
Understand Why They’re Divorcing
There could be an obvious reason for your parents’ divorce, such as infidelity, abuse, or alcoholism. But, more often than not, one or both of your parents have been emotionally estranged for several reasons. Value differences, disparities in interests, loss, romance, intimacy, or all of the above.
Try Not To Take Sides
It is essential to try not to take sides. Your parents are going through a tough time and need your support. Here are some tips on dealing with your parents’ divorce in your 20s. Be understanding and supportive.
Your parents are going through a tough time and need your support. Try not to take sides. It is essential to be impartial during this time.
How Parents Can Help You Cope
Dealing with your parents’ divorce in your twenties is complex, and even parents understand that. But their understanding and approach to the situation after the divorce may positively help their child face the consequences.
In the following manner, parents can play a role in helping their children in coping with the divorce situation:
- Parents should call a family meeting with their children to talk about the process of divorce and discuss out things in the most amicable manner possible.
- They must plan and discuss where the children will live after the divorce and ask their children if they are at ease.
- Everyone wants to grow up in a happy environment. Thus, parents should create a comfortable and positive environment for their children after a divorce. This may aid the children’s recovery from the effects of the divorce.
- After talking to the child about their divorce, the parents should prioritize showing love, care, and affection.
- As we all know, divorce news is shocking to a 20-year-old child; therefore, parents should try to understand their children and give them space. These are undoubtedly the most problematic years of a child’s life. They may become insulated from emotions, rage, and rejection. In such a situation, understanding them and allowing them to do what they may aid in recovery.
- Parents should not lose their former selves or pretend; instead, they should learn and understand that every situation is different and every child would react differently.
- Parents must remember that they should never put their children in a “pick and choose” situation. Instead, always consider what is best and most comfortable for their child.
Given the above points, it is essential to note that divorce should never become acrimonious. This might directly affect the family members, especially the children, in both physiological and psychological manner.
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How Divorce Will Change Your Life
As a child
As a child or adolescent, you will go through many significant changes due to your parents’ divorce. Here are some of the most noticeable changes.
- You may have to relocate if your parents are forced to sell their home.
- Agreements and decisions on child custody.
- Spending time with each of your parents separately.
- Hopefully, there will be less fighting.
- You should be in a better situation.
- You will miss out on a normal childhood, which may leave long term scars on your psyche and mental health
As A Teenager
Divorce will alter life as a teen in various ways:-
- Your parents may be forced to downsize the home you live in.
- Vacations will be one-of-a-kind.
- You might develop trust issues if the reason for divorce was infidelity.
- You may have to move to other schools.
- The financial situation may be quite different.
- You might discover that one of your parents has been dealing with emotional problems for some time.
As An Adult
Whenever you’re making plans for your holidays, vacation, family life, and so on, it may take some time to navigate those conversations and schedules with each of your parents.
If you have good relationships with both of your parents, you may feel guilty if you choose one parent over the other on holidays or spend more time with one. Furthermore, you may notice a significant decrease in time spent with the other parent if you prefer one parent over the other.
A Few Final Words
Divorce between parents does not become any simpler just because you are an adult with your own life. It can leave you with a terrible, long-term emotional scar that you will carry for the rest of your life.
Being the child of a divorce, whether amicable or contentious, may force you to address feelings of guilt and other negative emotions. You are not immune to the grief and pain of being an adult child of divorce. Thank you for reading the article, we hope it has helped you understand your position better and what you need to do to get over your parents divorce.