How To Deal With Inconsistency In A Relationship?

Inconsistency can destroy a healthy relationship. Here are a few tips on how to deal with inconsistency in a relationship, and how you can recognize that you are being inconsistent.

There are times when two people in a relationship feel differently about something, and there’s no clear answer as to what to do. This can lead to inconsistency in both the thoughts and actions of the individuals involved. 

It can be tough to deal with if you’re in a relationship and things are starting to feel a little bit inconsistent. Few steps you can do to help make your relationship work better. 

Try to be aware of when something is unpredictable and why it might be happening. If you can find the reason for the inconsistency, you’ll have a better chance of fixing it. Secondly, show openness in talking about it and maturity in agreeing to disagree.

Discussing your feelings and disagreements will help clarify them and hopefully lead to a resolution that everyone is happy with. In this article, we deal with inconsistency in relationships, and what you need to do about it.

How To Deal With Inconsistency In A Relationship

What Is Inconsistency In A Relationship?

Inconsistency in a relationship can be a result of mixed signals. One partner may feel love and affection one day, but the next day they may feel anger or resentment. This inconsistency can be confusing and frustrating for both partners. It can be challenging to maintain a healthy relationship when there is so much uncertainty.

Differences and disagreements can also cause inconsistency. Partners may disagree on important issues, leading to tension and fighting. This can also be very damaging to a relationship.

Ultimately, what inconsistency means to each person in a relationship is unique and up to them to decide. For some, it might mean not being serious about the relationship and not taking it seriously. For others, inconsistency could mean not being reliable or consistent with communication. It could also mean changing one’s mind or mood without any apparent reason.

Inconsistency can cause a lot of problems in a relationship. It can lead to confusion, frustration, and disharmony. If you are experiencing inconsistency in your relationship, it is essential to address the issue as soon as possible.

What Does It Mean To Be An Inconsistent Partner?

When you are in a relationship, some expectations come with being a part of it. You are expected to be loyal, to be there for your partner, and to be someone that they can count on. 

However, you do not always meet those expectations when you are an inconsistent partner. You may be loyal one day and then cheat on your partner the next. You may be there for them one minute and then completely disappear the next. You may make a statement one day and say something completely opposite the next. And you may be someone they can count on sometimes, but not all of the time.

Being inconsistent can be frustrating for your partner. They never know what to expect from you, and they never know if they can trust you. This inconsistency can cause a lot of tension and conflict in the relationship. To save your relationship, you need to work on being more consistent.

How To Deal With Inconsistency In A Relationship

Why Is Inconsistency In Relationships A Bad Thing?

Inconsistency can make it difficult to form attachments and trust with others. It can leave you feeling isolated and alone, the last thing anyone wants in a relationship. So if you’re looking for something stable and consistent, avoid an unreliable partner.

This is because inconsistency can be destructive to a relationship. It is only a matter of time as to when the relationship might implode if you keep being inconsistent with your partner.

For example, if one person in the couple is always making last-minute changes to what they want to do, it can be very frustrating for the other person. This is because it makes it difficult to plan anything, making the other person feel like they are unimportant.

If one person in the relationship always says one thing but does another, the other person may start to doubt what they are being told. This can lead to a lot of arguments and tension in the relationship. Lastly, inconsistency can lead to boredom. For example, if one person in the couple always does the same things, the other person may start to feel bored or unchallenged.

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Why Do People Show Inconsistent Behavior?

There can be many reasons why people show inconsistent behavior. 

One reason could be that they are confused about what they want or should do. 

They may have different experiences that cause them to behave differently in different situations. Their values or beliefs may also change, leading to them acting inconsistently.

How To Deal With Inconsistency In A Relationship

People can be inconsistent because it is more convenient for them to behave that way. 

For example, a person may be polite to their friends but rude to strangers. This is because they feel like they can get away with being rude to strangers since they are not likely to see them again. However, people are usually more polite to people they know because they do not want to lose their friendship.

Sometimes it is fear of going to the next level in the relationship

Anxiety over how quickly a relationship is progressing can have many causes, especially those rooted in past experience of broken relationships. Hence, your partner might just be trying to subconsciously sabotage the relationship by being inconsistent.

Signs Of Inconsistency In Relationships

Changing stands

One sign of relationship inconsistency is when our partner shows sympathy for us one moment but is cold and distant the next. This can be confusing and hurtful. If our partners cannot be consistent in their behavior, it is difficult to trust them and build a lasting relationship.

How To Deal With Inconsistency In A Relationship

Changing plans

Another sign of inconsistency can be when our partner changes their mind constantly about things. They might agree to do something one day but then change their mind the next day without any explanation. This sign can make it difficult to plan anything with them.

Lack of commitment

If one partner is always too busy to spend time with the other, this is a sign of inconsistency. If one constantly changes their mind about what they want or how they feel, this is also a sign of inconsistency. Another sign is if one person frequently excuses why they cannot meet up or spend time with their partner.

Lack of effort

A sign of inconsistent behavior is when one person consistently does all the work while the other sits back and takes advantage. 

This behavior can be extremely frustrating and lead to a lot of resentment. It may be time to end things if you’re always doing all the work while your partner just sits back and relaxes. 

Some people take this too far and become overly dependent on their partner. This can be a sign of inconsistency in relationships, as it can mean the person is not comfortable being on their own. 

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How To Deal With Inconsistency In Relationships?

Inconsistency is a part of life. It can be found in our relationships, work, and with ourselves. The important thing is not to let inconsistency dictate how we feel or live. If we allow inconsistency to control us, we lose out on opportunities and experiences.

Focus on their intentions

It is essential to focus on your partner’s intentions and to try and understand why they may be inconsistent. If you can, talk to your partner about it and express your concerns. If they are unwilling or unable to talk about it, that may be a sign that deeper issues are at play.

How To Deal With Inconsistency In A Relationship

Learn the pattern

Look for behavior patterns. What triggers your partner’s inconsistent behavior? Is it a certain time of day? A certain topic of conversation? Once you identify what sets them off, you can try to avoid those things as much as possible. The next step is to break the chain. 

If your partner constantly lashes out at you after a certain event, try to do something different the next time that event happens. For example, if they always get mad when you come home late from work, try coming home earlier instead.

Avoid getting angry

When your partner is inconsistent, it’s easy to feel frustrated and angry. However, reacting angrily will only make the situation worse. 

Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. If you can talk to your partner about why their behavior is causing problems for you, they may be more likely to change their ways. 

Accept Your Emotions

accept the feelings that we are having, rather than fight them. This acceptance can be difficult, but it is important. If we do not accept how our partner behaves, it will only lead to more problems in the relationship. 

We need to learn to live with the inconsistencies and work through them. This is not always easy, but it is worth it in the end.

Love yourself

Only when you love and accept yourself can you start to deal with the inconsistencies in your life. You have to be your best friend and biggest supporter. When you can do this, you become more resilient and capable of handling anything that comes your way.

How To Deal With Inconsistency In A Relationship

Don’t dwell on the inconsistency

Don’t let it consume you or take over your thoughts. This will make things worse. Accept that there is inconsistency in your life and move on.

Let them go

If nothing works out it’s essential to let them go. We need to give them some space and allow them to figure out their emotions. This isn’t easy, but it will be worthwhile in the long run. We also need to focus on taking care of ourselves during this time. 

Make sure to get regular exercise and eat a balanced diet. We must realize that our partner is not purposely trying to hurt us. They are just going through their own emotions and might not know how to cope with them.

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How To Be Consistent In A Relationship?


If you can be reliable and predictable, your partner will feel a sense of security in the relationship. On the other hand, if you’re inconsistent, your partner will never know what to expect and will become insecure.

A way to be more consistent is to establish ground rules or boundaries for consistent behavior. These can help prevent disagreements and ensure both partners are on the same page. Be clear about your expectations on future behavior from each other and what you’re willing to do. 

And don’t be afraid to negotiate! If something isn’t working for one of you, talk about it and see if there’s a way to fix it.

How To Deal With Inconsistency In A Relationship


You need to be connected with your romantic partner emotionally and physically regularly. If one person in the relationship falls off the wagon, it can cause problems.

One way to be more consistent is by setting aside time each day for your partner. This could be very simple, like taking a walk together or cuddling on the couch. 

It’s also essential to communicate with your partner if something is bothering you. Being open and honest will help build a stronger foundation for your relationship.


Be honest with each other. If you know you will be busy, let your partner know ahead of time. And if there’s something that’s been bothering you, talk about it. Second, try to stick to a routine as much as possible. 

Finally, don’t be afraid to apologize when you mess up. We all make mistakes sometimes, and it’s essential to agree to them and apologize sincerely. This can help make both of your lives easier and make it easier for you to communicate with each other.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does inconsistency say about a person?

Inconsistency speaks volumes about a person. It can be seen as a lack of character or, even worse, a lack of intelligence. To be deliberately inconsistent is to be hypocritical and deceitful. It shows that the person cannot be trusted and that they should not be taken seriously. This can be damaging to personal and professional relationships.

What is an example of inconsistency?

There are many different types of inconsistency, but one of the most common is behavioral inconsistency. This is in a way that is inconsistent with their values or beliefs. For example, a person may say they value honesty but then cheat on their taxes. This can be confusing and frustrating for others, and it can also be challenging to trust someone inconsistent.
Behavioral inconsistency can also cause problems in relationships. For example, if you tell your partner that you will be home at a particular time, but then you show up late, they may start to doubt your word. This can lead to tension and resentment.
Inconsistency can also be harmful to mental health. If you constantly switch between different behaviors or moods, it can be challenging to develop a sense of self-identity.

What is the root cause of inconsistency in people?

Inconsistency is often a result of trust issues. When one person in a relationship can’t trust the other to be consistent, it causes problems. For example, if your partner keeps changing their mind about what they want to do or where they want to go, it’s hard to trust that they’ll be reliable in the future. This can lead to a lot of arguments and tension in the relationship.
Trust is essential for any relationship to work well. Trust issues make it difficult for both people in the relationship to feel secure and happy. If you’re struggling with inconsistency in your relationship, it might be helpful to talk to a person who can help you explore the root of the problem and find ways to overcome it.

What is the emotional inconsistency?

Mood swings are a common symptom of emotional inconsistency. Unpredictable and intense mood swings often characterize dynamic inconsistency. People with this condition may feel happy one moment and sad or angry the next. These mood swings can be so severe that they interfere with someone’s ability to function normally in daily life.

Wrap Up

Inconsistency in a relationship can be frustrating, but it is essential to remember that it is usually not intentional. You can work through any inconsistency by communicating with your partner and remaining understanding. If the inconsistency bothers you, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.