I was shocked at how much you all liked the last recipe post. Since this blog is about my life and right now my life involves a lot of healthy cooking recipe exploration, I’m probably going to do this once in a while.
So, I tried to make chili lime shrimp for the first time last week, but my source recipe called for a shit ton of soy sauce and the shrimp came out waaaaay too salty and a deep and hideous brown. My family gamely ate it, but I could tell from their faces that it didn’t go over well. (They are very kind to me about my cooking.)
This time I used a different bunch of source recipes that didn’t call for soy sauce. Most of the recipes I found were focusing on grilled shrimp (we don’t currently own a grill, alas) so I had to improvise, but here’s what I came up with.
First I thawed the shrimp, peeled it and patted it dry. I got a pound of shrimp including shells, and that gave each of us about eight shrimp. Then I made the marinade; three tablespoons of lime juice (I totally cheat and use bottled lime juice, sue me), two tablespoons of brown sugar, a bit of cayenne pepper, a bit of fresh garlic (again, I cheat by buying the jars of cut garlic), and a teaspoon of chili powder. Then I tossed the shrimp in and let it marinate for about an hour. God, shrimp is fucking disgusting when it’s raw, right?
Did I mention that my recipe posts will include badly centered and poorly lit cell phone photos? I TOTALLY FUCKING ROCK, Y’ALL.
Anyway, after I prepped the shrimp I then washed the crap out of my hands because *shudder* raw shrimp. I then got out the ingredients for the mango avocado salsa. Here’s my attempt at an artful arrangement of ingredients.
I probably should have taken them out of the bags, right? Eh, fuck it.
So then I went to YouTube to find videos on how to cut up a mango, because the last time I made a mango salsa it took me fucking forever and I made a huge mess. I used to eat mangoes all the fucking time, and I swear at one point I knew how to cut and peel them, but apparently that information has been deleted from my brain. I found my friend Jacqueline’s video of her cutting up a mango and she made it look super easy so I tried her technique. Sadly, I am apparently way less fucking coordinated because I a) immediately cut my thumb like a fucking idiot, and b) the mango skin kept tearing off when I tried to slice it from the peel. So then I had to rinse off all the bloody fucking mango bits – and yeah, I know I probably should have soaked them in bleach or vinegar or something, but I didn’t.
Next, because I’m fucking stupid, I did the smartest thing ever to do after cutting my finger while slicing a mango by then deciding to go ahead and chop and de-seed a jalapeno pepper. I highly recommended this, because you know you want to feel the BURNING FIRE OF A THOUSAND FUCKING SUNS IN YOUR THUMB TIP. Motherfucking OW.
So, anyhoo, I ended up with about a cup+ of no-longer-bloody mango and half a nicely chopped up jalapeno pepper. I added about two thirds cup of white onion (I would have used red onion normally, but only had white onions on hand), about a half cup of red bell pepper (yes, I had the yellow bell pepper in the picture, but I decided the red would look prettier), a whole bunch of cilantro (sorry, Dresden and all who say that cilantro tastes like soap; I think it tastes fucking awesome), a little salt, and some lime juice. Then I tossed it up and took a third of it out because my mother, for some insane fucking reason, doesn’t like avocado (sorry Mom!). I then cut up a small avocado and added it to the salsa, mixed it well, and stuck in the fridge.
I let everything sit for about an hour before starting some boiling water to make the rice. For some reason we have a ton of those “boil in a bag” rice things, and frankly I totally fucking suck at cooking rice from scratch, so I used two of the bags. I added a touch of salt and some lime juice to the water first. That needed ten minutes to boil, so then I turned up the heat under my already much beloved iron skillet and put in about a tablespoon of olive oil.
I then tossed in about three tablespoons of onion, the rest of the jalapeno pepper, and a heaping teaspoon of that pre-cut garlic into the heated oil. I let it saute a minute or two. See? Sauteing.
Can I just wax poetic for a minute about how much I love my skillet? It is seriously the best thing for cooking in EVER. Why I’ve been using horrible thin teflon frying pans for my whole fucking life I have no idea. The iron pan does a much better job of evenly heating, and I’ve used it for everything including cooking a steak OH MY GOD THAT STEAK WAS GOOD. I did recently start having some pain in my left elbow, however, and I realized tonight that comes from trying to lift and manipulate that heavy ass iron pan. I think it weighs more than Tori.
After the onions were translucent, I added in the big tablespoon of brown sugar and let the onions get that yummy caramelized look (I know, that’s not how you really caramelize onions, but whatever). Then I dumped in the shrimp and the marinade. I let the shrimp cook just for about a minute on each side, but still managed to slightly overcook them; I can’t get quite past the idea that seafood needs to be THOROUGHLY COOKED and I overdo it every time. I removed the shrimp from the heat and put it on the plates, then let the leftover marinade and vegetables boil off until there was a lovely syrupy sauce to pour over the shrimp (pouring the sauce on the shrimp is where I realized how I hurt my elbow; it’s hard to hold that pan up with one hand!). As the sauce thickened I decided it wasn’t reddish enough (didn’t want brown shrimp again) so I randomly shook in some paprika to make it redder. It tasted good, so…that worked out okay.
By now the rice was done, so I drained it and then dumped the rice into the still warm pan over the still warm burner. I put a couple of tablespoons of lime juice into the rice and then stirred in a bunch of chopped cilantro. I left it on the heat for a minute or two while stirring it before putting the rice on the plates next to the shrimp.
Then I spooned out the mango salsa, and we ate that shit. It was really fucking good, even though the shrimp was a touch overcooked (suggestions on how to NOT overcook shrimp more than welcome). For the record, one serving is just about 500 calories according to the recipe builder on My Fitness Pal.
Looks good, right?