First, some disclaimers. I don’t have a fucking CLUE what I’m doing in the kitchen. All I do is try shit and hope it works. Most of this recipe is a mosh of tricks I gleaned from a whole bunch of websites, and then I just threw some shit together. I will say I owe a huge debt to The Pioneer Woman’s chicken fried steak recipe, but mine is tossed together all willy nilly. There will be no printables or anything because I’m just not that blogger. But several of you expressed an interest in my cooking endeavors, so… yeah, it’s all totally your fault. Also? This recipe is NOT part of my healthy eating plan. In any way. Ahem.
So, on Monday night I started feeling dizzy and coughing, and Tuesday I was sick enough that I was in pajamas all day and I was craving comfort food. Today I went to my doctor (allergies and inner ear fluid) who gave me a new inhaler and told me to take sudafed (harder to buy than a gun), and while I felt better tonight I still wanted comfort food. I love chicken fried steak, but wanted to do a gluten free version with chicken so Charlie and Tori would eat it. Guess what? IT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUS. Here’s how I did it. Sorta.
So first, I dug through my mess of a freezer (do we really need sixteen boxes of popsicles, Tori?) and found some boneless and skinless chicken breasts. I thawed them in our recently broken microwave the old fashioned way, i.e. leaving them in there all day to thaw (I used the microwave because it has a door and can keep dog, cat, and kid away from it). Then I used my newly purchased meat cleaver and whacked the shit out of the chicken breasts until they were about a half inch thick or so. I then sliced off some strips from each breast for Tori’s portion (she prefers strips, obviously). I then dumped the chicken into a bowl and covered it with buttermilk (I had to go buy the buttermilk, because who actually has that in their kitchen all the time? Also, can you freeze it? I gots no idea).
I then cut up some yukon gold potatoes and went freezer hunting for broccoli florets. I dumped the potatoes into some salted water for mashed potatoes, and set up the broccoli for steaming. This part went fairly smoothly because it’s the easy part.
Then I took some Gluten Free Flour mix (I use Red Mill’s baking flour) and dumped it in a bowl (probably a cup? I guess?). I then dumped in some salt, pepper, cumin, cayenne, chili, and a bit of paprika. Probably a teaspoon of salt and a half teaspoon of everything else or so (the flour mix was mildly salty but not too spicy hot). Then I took the chicken from the buttermilk and dredged it through the flour mix, then set it aside for a minute. Then I (and this is The Pioneer Woman’s trick) I dipped it in the buttermilk again, then dredged it again. Then I set it aside while I did the next bit.
Then I heated up my brand new iron skillet (on sale at Sears for $18) with about a third of an inch or so of vegetable oil. I stuck my meat thermometer in it because I’d read it needed to be 350 degrees, but then I realized it was a fucking MEAT thermometer and only went to 240 degrees. So then I just tossed some chicken into the oil, which promptly burned to a crisp. So. I took the skillet off the heat for a minute or two and turned the burner down (I have one of those glass cook top ranges and OMG I HATE IT SO MUCH, it is impossible to clean and heats weirdly and doesn’t cool off quickly), and then tried the chicken again. This time it worked fine, and Tori’s strips were done.
I put in the adult sized bigger portions, and probably cooked them for about two minutes a side or so, but it could have been more like three. See? WILLY FUCKING NILLY. But doesn’t it look great? I put it on paper towels to drain while I mashed the potatoes.
There’s nothing special about my mashed potatoes. I don’t skin the potatoes, so I mash, yank skins off the masher, mash again, and add cream and butter and salt and pepper. Oh! I do mash them while still on the heat to let them steam out, another Ree tip. This makes them much drier and more substantial.
Oh, at some point I steamed the broccoli. Obviously.
So then it was time to make the white gravy. This is tricky; I’ve found making gravy with gluten free flour means that you have to use VERY little because the gravy thickens up a ton immediately. You also have to dissolve it first, and I did that tonight with a little bit of chicken stock. Honestly, I probably used less than a teaspoon to make the gravy.
First I took the skillet and the oil and drained off nearly all the oil, leaving just a couple tablespoons in the bottom. I then added some light cream (I would have used milk, but we only had cashew milk on hand and I doubt that would have worked) and salt and pepper. I mixed it up a bit and then poured in about a tablespoon of the chicken stock / gluten free flour mix in, stirring madly to keep it from getting lumpy. In about thirty seconds, I had nice thick white gravy.
Then I put it on plates (paper, because the dishwasher was running with all the plates in it) and my family promptly devoured it. It really, really hit that comfort food spot. Because everything that’s a million calories is DELICIOUS.
So, there you go. A fucking recipe post. I’m THAT mom blogger now.
Heh.Don’t you totally fucking want some? I just ate it and I want more.