With The Wind Comes Change

For the first time in many years, I asked Charlie this morning about driving up to the Poconos for a day trip to do a hike. It’s been years since I’ve wanted to do that. I was thinking of a particular hike that ends at Hawk Falls, a pretty hike that we used to do frequently, and we’ve found that Tori likes hiking more if there is a “reward” at the end like seeing something beautiful.

We talked about it, but decided that we’d rather not make the three hour drive for a hike we’re not really sure we’re ready to tackle yet. But even so, I felt a bit of my old life pre-child return, but with the added bonus of including a lovely and enthusiastic almost seven year old on adventures.

It’s awesome.

We’re already talking about camping again this year, and I’m secretly hoping that we’ll get to do several weekend trips. I miss camping so fiercely; I miss cooking over the campfire, my hair smelling like smoke, and hearing nothing at night other than the sounds of the woods and crackling fires. I miss spending the days on the hiking trails, leading to a good tiredness that lends itself to sleeping in the woods and going to bed early. I miss how Charlie and I used to read to each other as we sat by the fire at the end of the night.

I felt something shift in me on our road trip. Being forced to spend so much time offline felt good. Great, even. I felt my heart and mind quiet down and settle in a way it hasn’t in years; since coming home and getting back to work and my online life I’ve felt my mind start to return to distractedness, and I haven’t liked it. I’ve found myself shutting my computer at night and watching TV without distracting my attention, and reading books instead of checking email.

I spent most of my life doing only one thing at a time, and I’ve forgotten how much better that feels. Facebook doesn’t need more than a visit a day (if that), and while I will always love Twitter, I don’t have to spend the day there.

Another thing I realized I’ve missed is my blog. I know, I still write here a couple times a week, but you know what? It was my first social media love and I want to get back here. I stopped thinking of this blog as a business about a year ago, but that doesn’t mean I need to stop giving myself over to this space. I love blogging. I love writing. This is what I want to do.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about my role in the overall blogging world, particularly the corner I’ve found myself in, which is mom blogging. While I’m still madly in love with blogging and social media (to some extent), I feel sort of… trapped. I’ve decided to start exploring some other avenues both personally and professionally. I feel excited about that! I plan to focus on getting connected to professional women outside of the social space, and also social media folks that aren’t in the mom blogging community, something I’d been exploring before and let die.

Anyway, all this rambling is just to say: I’m here. I’m getting better across all fronts. And I’m happy.

How are you?

PS: I have to share this. Have you heard of cat bearding? I still love the odd internet meme, so I decided to try it with Jax. Um, yeah. He didn’t want to be a beard. Hilarious.

cat beard fail

 

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Comments

  1. Amie says

    I was totally researching “can I quit the internet” last night and while I’ve decided I definitely am addicted and definitely cannot quit, I will be limiting my time online. I am also missing the outdoors and reading and everything quiet…online sucks my time daily. So I will be limiting my facebook attention and my blog reading attention this summer.

    Glad to hear you’re feeling so good…I am too :)

  2. says

    I am nodding on the feeling cornered– that is how I felt last year and it has taken me a while, but I finally feel like new doors and paths are appearing…that are not so “backed into the corner” like. And yay for hiking and camping (although, I am not a camper, I am envious of those that love it).

  3. says

    that whole post made me smile. . .snuck in there you mentioned our lives as they will be when are kids are on their own – when we return to being a “couple” – or even a single. . .to spend your time as you choose. Maybe it’s the spring turning to summer, but I’ve found myself contemplating some of the same things and looking in similar directions. . .I hope the paths you choose make you happy my friend and I hope to run into you on some of them =)

    hillary

  4. says

    HOW EXCITING and I am so happy to hear you are feeling better! I am also trying to figure out where I belong AND have more much needed offline time. You seem to have some great focus and I am excited to continue to hear about your journey.

    I just saw the whole cat beard thing the other day – TOO FUNNY!

  5. says

    How is it that I’ve never heard of cat bearing before now? Thanks for the laugh.

    On a more serious note, I am so very glad you are feeling better.

  6. says

    Loved this post — and the cat beard! I’ve got a dog…don’t think she’d appreciated being my beard either (she’s an Airedale though…so has her OWN beard..).

  7. says

    I’m relatively new to your blog, but I’ll be back. I love to camp too, and am anxious for my kids to get a little older so we can return to weekend camping trips. I love that you are finding yourself, or finding what makes you happy. I’m doing that too, and I feels scary but great.

  8. MargeauxB says

    What’s that old song? “Pack up your troubles in your old suitcase and smile, smile, smile”
    Getting out in nature is always great.

  9. says

    I love this post! It is soooo easy to lose bits of yourself in life as … well, life happens. But those moments, those snippets of time where we awaken and catch a glimmer of our former selves…well, those make it so much of the tough worth it.

    I discovered your blog over a year ago, and have been following on both my old blog and my new one now…and I have to say I love your honesty, your realistic approach to life, your writing style and it’s so nice to see things looking up for you.

  10. says

    Okay so I totally didn’t see you as an outdoorsy person. I have not been camping in over 21 years – since before Hubby and I got married. We used to go all the time before that. Not really my thing. Well, that’s not true, I like parts of it. What I don’t like is sleeping in a tent. If we had a big 5th wheel camper or something I could do it. I do like sitting outside around the campfire and I like just enjoying the relative peacefulness (depending on the campground). I do really like the idea of “glamping” though – have you heard Kristina Libby talk about this? That is really my idea of camping LOL

  11. Rebekah says

    Love hearing how your soul is shifting and opening to new (and old!) things. There’s a happiness and peace in this post that’s great to hear.

    Also, your “polarizing hair” bit at the top had me cracking up! Love it. =)

  12. Rebecca T-dot says

    That is the funniest cat bearding fail pic I’ve seen yet; it might be funnier than the successful cat beard pics out there! Good job!

  13. says

    I miss camping too. We are going to try camping too. Our 7 yr.old has been without us twice now and loves it. It’s so fun to do stuff like that with her now. The other two are 4 and 2 and it will be a minor challenge. We’ll try it close to home and hope they love it like we do. It’s exciting!

    I’m anxious to see what you end up doing work-wise too!

  14. says

    I too live online..and when I’m not working I am still always seemingly connected..Iphone, Ipad..you know how it goes! Finding that balance between me time and online time seems to be getting harder as each day goes by..Oh for the return of a simple life!..Camping by the way sounds like a great way to start!

  15. Melissa says

    You’re outside of Philly, right? Somewhat closer to you is Kilgore Falls, in MD. The hike is easy, easy, easy to the falls. I’d imagine the drive out from Philly would be nice too, if you went along Rt. 1 through lots of farm land.

    My just-turned-5 handled the hike (really more of walk) just fine. The falls are pretty, there are tadpoles, and you could stop on the way back with not too much detour at Maplehofe Dairy, which has really good ice cream