The other night I was out to dinner with some local friends, and someone told an amazing story. “My grandmother,” she said, “had this group of women that she had coffee with every day. They used to rotate through each others houses after the kids had gone to school. But they started to notice that one friend of theirs kept coming to the coffee klatch hurt, and they worried about her. Then one day they went to this woman’s house for coffee and she had a black eye and they finally got her to admit that it was her husband that was hitting her.”
“That day, the husband happened to come home while the women were having coffee. These women surrounded him and beat him nearly to death, and then told him that if he ever hit her again they would kill him and no one would ever find the body.”
“He never hit her again.”
That what I call friendship and sisterhood.
…..
Years ago I heard the amazing Brené Brown speak at a blogging conference, and she talked about how you have some friends that would help you move, but your best friends would help you move a body. This struck a chord with me, because I know that I have had that in my friend Sarah for nearly two decades, even though in recent years our lives have diverged quite a bit and we don’t see each other nearly enough.
Blessedly, in the last couple of years my life has bloomed with more friends into a small group we jokingly call our “sister wives.” Half the group lives locally to me and I’m able to see them in person frequently, while the other half is scattered around the country. Thanks to technology, however, I’m able to see their faces at least twice a week (via the awesome video conferencing system called Google+ Hangouts where you can video chat with up to ten people for free) when we have our own coffee klatch.
We share about all the hard stuff in our lives, as well as the good. We talk about work and professional obligations and aspirations and how we can help each other, and we talk about how to make our marriages and relationships better (although not all of us are married), and we talk about our kids trials and tribulations (even though some of us don’t have kids). Some of these women I’ve known since before the internet, and some I know because of the internet.
These are women that would, without hesitation, help me move a body.
I cannot tell you how much this has improved my life, and how grateful I am every single day for these women.
So, thank you so much, Dresden, Liz, Julia, Lynette, Jo-Ann, Katherine, Lisa, Dawn, Annie, and Robin. My life would suck without you.
What about you? Do you have move-the-body friends?
…..
If you didn’t get a chance today to catch Brené Brown on Oprah’s “Super Soul Sunday,” I’d highly recommend trying to find a way to watch it, and make sure to catch part two next week (it aired here at 11am on Sunday morning on the OWN network).






{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Indeed, all of this is true.
I got me a DIAMOND shovel in the mind craft.
Love ya too…. Will bring a pic axe too
Awww. Same to you, lady. Thanks for making me feel like family:)
So thankful for such great friends!!
I have two friends like that and I am grateful for them everyday!
I am grateful for my ride or die “chicks” . I can always count on them any time day or night. When I was younger I would say “I dont deal with women they are to Catty”.. My 30′s have brought awesome woman into my life. Now i couldnt live without my divas. I am sure that the Wine Companies Sales have gone up tremendously ;-)… I believe you can catch Oprahs Super Soul Sundays OWN on her Youtube Channel …
SFinn-T: Perhaps you might want to look up the definition of ‘hyperbole’. It might help you better understand Cecily’s post. Even though I give my “name” as ‘Old as the hills’, I can assure you that I am only somewhere between 40 sand 70, but today, that’s how I feel! And that is yet another example of hyperbole.
PS I always give posters and commenters some slack when I spot typo’s since computer programs tend to slip in unintended spellings that not even spell check catches.
Dear “Old,” I am 45 years old and completely understand hyperbole, as a retired writer by trade. As Cecily provides regular commentary on male-on-female violence, I find it interesting that she invokes female-on-male violent imagery in a humorous, pro-woman way.
Also, I do not give slack on writing and grammar issues to someone who positions herself first and foremost as a writer. I feel that anyone who puts themselves out there as a writer and wishes to earn a living from writing should publish error-free blog pots, Facebook posts and tweets.
Good thing I am retired considering my typographical error!
I couldn’t agree more about the peace of mind that comes with having always- there-for-you sister wives. One of mine once suggested Voodoo as a way to reconcile a conflict that was making me all but insane. I wanted to hug her for not only her creative problem-solving approach but for just being willing to do whatever it took to help.
p.s. Just re-watched a BlogHer ’08 “When the Road to Motherhood Is Anything But Smooth” panel videotape (thanks, to Lori Lavender Luz for including the link in a recent post) and was taken again by some of the insights you shared, Cecily. I was grateful to you then and still am…
Hell yes!
I am late to the party. This should shock no one. Damn body was heavy as fuck.