The weekend with my mom went far better than we expected, although it’s definitely more of a challenge for her to do basic daily living stuff with her broken arm and generalized weakness. A nurse came by on Sunday to evaluate her and she will have someone come in to help her bathe and manage laundry and that sort of thing, which will be great and a huge help. It will also allow us, if we need to, to go out a bit (by us I mean me and Charlie and Tori). Right now my mom can’t be left alone. Luckily I’m not traveling for work for quite a while, so that won’t be too huge an issue.
Today we went back to the endocrinology team who told us news that changes things. Basically, my mom’s calcium levels were perfect during this whole last hospitalization – so the symptoms she had in the hospital were NOT caused by her hypercalcemia.
So. Back to square one. Again.
She’s been referred to some gerontology specialists and we’re trying to get an appointment before the end of March, because it appears now that what she has is likely chronic and falls under their specialty.
To say we’re frustrated is to put it mildly. My mom is already beginning to show some creeping symptoms, so, yeah. We’re frustrated, and scared, and more.
My mom has a huge amount of anxiety about this, as you can imagine. As a teacher and a scientist, having trouble thinking is incredibly difficult for her, although she doesn’t remember the worst episodes, blessedly. I love her, and I worry about her.
And I still feel completely under-qualified to manage her care.
Also, I can see that this stressful situation is beginning to really become difficult for Tori. She’s okay when my mom is in the hospital (as are we, since we know she’s safe), but when my mom is home Tori becomes very clingy and insecure and worried. This is the last thing I want for her. My childhood was one of constant worry and stress and god, I so don’t want Tori to feel that way too.
We talk with her a lot, and Charlie and I are both working hard to spend time with her playing games and drawing (she and I have been doing – help me – crafty sewing projects together. All I can do is hope that’s enough, for now.
I cannot thank you all enough for your kind emails. They meant so much to me, and it was remarkably freeing to not have to worry about policing the comments. I know those of you that emailed had to go an extra step, so I really am grateful to you for taking the time.
We’re just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other, because after all, what the fuck else can we do?
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