The last couple of days have been a brutal emotional roller coaster.
First, my mother is getting better almost too quickly, so the skilled nursing facility she is in is most likely going to turn her loose in the next couple of days. We met with her social worker to determine where she can go because of the long waiting list for her apartmnent, and guess what? Other seniors in her situation are routinely discharged to SHELTERS. The few assisted living type places that would consider taking her temporarily are wildly expensive, and she’s far too healthy now to warrant health insurance coverage for those sorts of places.
So, she’s coming back to our home.
We’re moving her from the basement up into my office. This, sadly, is still on the second floor (and we have six steps from the ground up into our house) but the bathroom is on the same level as the bedroom AND the steps on that staircase are far wider and easier to climb than the basement stairway. Additionally, her physical therapist is confident that she will soon have zero issues with stairs whatsoever.
Sadly, the room I use as an office is teeny – only about 9′ by 14′ – so we’re only barely going to get her bed (queen sized) and a table for her computer in there. Downstairs she had a separate room for her clothes and dresser, as well as enough room for a desk and a table for grading papers and a little sitting area. Our house is a twin, kinda railroad stye; the rooms are one after the other in a line. Downstairs has living room then dining room then kitchen while upstairs has the three bedrooms and the bathroom awkwardly squeezed in; we only have about 1,300 square feet total including the basement. The basement ran the whole length of the house giving her a lot more room than only one third of a floor.
But we’ll make do. Privacy wise, well: hard to have a good sex life with your mom on the same floor as you (just being honest here, folks). It’s not a good permanent solution, obviously. But my mom is still looking forward to living in that apartment complex, so that’s good news. She’s just relieved to be able to come back here for now.So. Anyway, that’s what’s up. How are you?
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
Maybe she could just stay in the basement? It sounds like as far as the issue of steps goes, it’s six on one hand, half a dozen on the other. (Almost literally.) It would make her happier and you, too, esp. if this drags on for a long time. Maybe you could just assist her down and up the basement steps for a while. Maybe you could ask her doc/PT what they think? Just thinking out loud… So glad she’s doing better!
It’s the half-step to the bathroom downstairs that’s the issue; that’s been the biggest contributor to her falling. We’ll manage. :)
On the up side, perhaps the awkwardness and lack of space will make the coming new apartment seem brighter and brighter. On the dealing with it side, is there any way you could borrow a twin bed for her to use in the upstairs room while you wait for the apartment to become available? On the completely inappropriate side, I see some illicit basement nookie in your future.
We actually moved her bed and it fit okay. :)
unrelated we have 1325 sq ft and people consider my house HUGE over here!
LOL!
Why don’t you and your husband move your bedroom into the basement?
We thought about that, actually, but Tori FREAKED out about not being able to come get in bed with us.
Ah…of course…you would have thought of that yourselves. Of course. Best wishes to you all. x
yeah, if the basement’s so roomy, why not move down there yourself? rearranging furniture is a hassle, sure, but then you get privacy for your sex, which was important enough to mention in a post about your mother’s health. or at least throw a mattress on the floor down there. you can do sex in places that are not your bedroom! ok!
As I said above, my daughter doesn’t want us so far away since she comes and cuddles with us at night. :)
LOL- was thinking the same thing. It’s a hassle to move everything for sure….but could/would you and Charlie consider moving down there, and using the other downstairs room as an office? That would give you another room….
I wish! Tori wants fast middle of the night cuddles. :)
Ahh…not yet then. Maybe a futon in one of the basement rooms would help aid the sex life?
Still, a minor inconvenience at bet, especially if she can find or get into a good place of her own in a bit. Glad to hear she’s feeling better!
It sounds like a little inconvenience for awhile. Lots of good wishes and positive vibes heading your way!
Exactly! Not that big a deal.
I’m so glad she’s doing better and at the same time I empathize with the problems associated with a rapid release from care/rehab — after a stroke, we dealt with somewhat similar release-associated issues with my dad (he did NOT come home to my house and went to a skilled nursing facility, but basically, the hospital, being comparatively overwhelmed by the circumstances of their still-more-difficultly-situated-and-less-well-supported other patients did — or tried to do — nothing to ensure he was moved to a facility set up to provide him with what he needed, which in his case was (still) extensive rehab (interestingly this — poor release practices, basically — is among the things the ACA seeks to address, to reduce readmissions). Anyway, I digress except to say that I get it, far more than I would had I not witnessed and been involved with a (somewhat) similar situation, and it is hard hard hard. Here’s to you and yours for keeping a sense of perspective about it, and I hope it all goes as smoothly as possible. Is working in the basement a possibility?
So glad to hear good news about your mom. Thanks for keeping your readers up to date. (We worry.)
I’m all for the middle of the night cuddles, but Tori has to adjust too. Before we bought our bigger house, we needed to get our daughter out of our bedroom. We had a 1250 square foot house, two bedrooms upstairs and a bath, dining/living/kitchen on the first floor. We moved the boys into the dining room and gave our daughter their room. Trust me, Tori is big enough to negotiate stairs in the middle of the night if she needs snuggles. Also, a little distance from you to her may be a good thing. My husband and I were also nervous about separating ourselves by a floor from the twins, but in a house that small, no one is truly that far from anyone else. At least you have a basement, ours was a dungeon that wasn’t even really fit for the laundry. The family that lived in our little house before us moved their bedroom into the living room, had their living room in the dining room, and let their kids sleep in the bedrooms upstairs. Take a good, long look at the rooms in your house without thinking of the purpose the rooms already have.
THIS. It’s a great age to start sleeping through the night, and if she needs you, she can get to you. If there’s other reasons you hate the basement (which I’d be surprised about, as your mom lived there), that’s different. But don’t throw out the idea for Tori. It may be a win-win and sounds like a fantastic use of the space in your house.
(((Cecily)))
Glad your mom is better. Sorry that the logistics are complicated.
Happy to hear she’s doing so well!
It’s never just easy, is it? I go through the same thing with my son’s issues. One step at time is the only way to do it.
Glad she’s doing well!
So glad your Mom is doing better and that you have a good temporary solution. The changes you made about mealtimes and structuring your family time might slip back into old patterns since she was away and has come back — I know this happens to me. I hope you can be mindful to make sure you are doing well too with the new setup. Planning for private time with your husband makes complete sense (I have no idea how you can do this public blogging when people can make such hurtful and obnoxious comments! You are so positive! They are so obnoxious!).