Fog Is Lifting

So, did I tell you that not too long ago my therapist and I decided to change up my medications? Yeah. We did. I switched from a low dose of one antidepressant to a slightly higher dose of another (this one to this one).

It’s like a fog lifted.

At first I didn’t credit the drugs, of course. But about two weeks into the new regiment is when I began feeling like it was time to do something about my food. Another two weeks into the change and I felt like going for a walk now and again.

I finally realized it might be because of the meds when my mother stopped annoying me.

My depression/mood stuff is weird; it always manifests as anger and brittleness and hyper-sensitivity. I know, big shock, right? So any time I have the capacity to let shit roll of my back – without having to try to force myself to go through the traditional recovery “3 As” (awareness, acceptance, action) process of coping with, well, everything – is a damn good thing.

Best of all I feel more centered, more patient, and WAY more productive. This is a very good thing as I’ve taken on a couple of new clients and writing gigs (in our ever-elusive goal of actually building up savings and emergency funds – IT WILL HAPPEN!) and I’m sure you spotted the sponsored post, so I’m doing more now on a weekly basis once again.

But I’m happy. Seriously, I’m happy.

The food thing continues to work well and easily. It’s just so easy and simple. I’m cooking for myself every day and eating delicious food that is both savory and filling. I’ve lost weight too; I don’t want to be number focused but it’s clear that my clothes fit better and my face is thinner. But more importantly, I feel so much better. I’m somewhat shocked by it; I’ve never before given up all grains when I’ve changed my food habits (including oatmeal!) and it’s made a massive difference in how I feel.

Not only that, but the tossing out of forced family dinners has been phenomenal. I seriously cannot believe how much better it is, how much we’ve reduced our take-out habit, and how easily the family is getting along without forcing ourselves to all eat the same thing at the same time. Tori and have started hanging out upstairs after she eats, playing games and sitting in the big bed, cuddling and talking. Sometimes we play math or word games on my phone together. My mother and Charlie watch the news together in peace.

Everyone is happy.

And damn if this isn’t a weird ass post to write. Heh.

Comments Closed


    • says

      So what’s wrong with ME? I went from zoloft to celexa. (kidding, but I really did make a backwards change from both of you)
      I hate letting the meds take the credit but on the other hand, I do tend to get a little foul. I also have an extra one that I take that I refer to as “Mr.B” … If I forget that one, whoa, look out.

  1. says

    My meds are the greatest thing to happen to me. Ever. I feel so much more focused and balanced and…normal when I’m on them. I didn’t want to admit that I needed them–that would be admitting there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t control–but seeing how I am now compared to not being on them? World. Of. Difference.

    I hope this continues to work for you.!

  2. says

    You did seem lighter in spirit in Georgia. I’m so glad you have found something that is working for you.
    I need to go back to the doctor. I think I need to up my thyroid medicine. I feel so tired and slow.

  3. says

    So glad your meds worked out. I was on Celexa waaaay back after the 9/11 attacks in 2001 until my panic attacks resolved themselves and I just stopped my pills. When I finally started seeing a psychiatrist in 2008, it didn’t work when I tried it again. I’ve never been on Zoloft, but I wish you the best with it. I’m on Effexor and hope it never stops working, because I never want to have to wean off of it.

    We’re not doing restaurants or takeout now for budgetary reasons, and it’s working well for our family-time. I’m hoping it will help me fit back into my clothes better, too, so fingers crossed!

  4. says

    I’m happy you are happy. I like the idea of non forced meals together. Most quality time is better when it is by choice and natural than when it is forced.

  5. says

    You seem less overwhelmed and have a swagger that you have not had in a long time. I am so happy for you. Thanks for all your help with my blog and the promise that a decade will not go by before I get away with El. I am thankful that you and your family are in our lives.

  6. says

    Dang! You should’ve seen my face reading this. I was all, “Whaaa? You mean maybe all this stuff we keep hearing about how important it is to sit down to family meals together might not even be true for everyone all the time??!” I beat myself up anytime we don’t all eat together, to this point that sometimes my kids probably wish we *didn’t* do it, just so I’ll relax and we’ll actually enjoy each other. This is a revelation for me. Seriously, thanks. PS Super happy your fog has lifted!

  7. says

    You are so damn fucking inspiring!

    There I said it. When I first talked to you at BET|BlogHer in 2011 I knew that you had charisma, but then so does Bill Clinton… Anyway, I struggle with some of the same issues you do, though I am pretty sure I am old enough to be your mother, of course it would have had to have been young teen pregnancy… so I decided to peak in on your your posts, tweets, and stuff occasionally.

    Keep talking. It is so important to let people know that we (we being self defined) can be successful. Finding the right chemical balance is life altering. Yeah for the right meds and for following what you know and feel to be right!

  8. pindy4176 says

    Odd coincidence, Cecily: I just came OFF my anti-depressant, and I continue to feel great! I had forgotten to take it for a few days that my son was very sick; and when I realized the omission, I also realized that I FELT BETTER. So I’ve been tapering, and yesterday I finished!

    These are amazing and complex drugs. I’m so glad we have them — they did the donkey work for me for many years — and that are several from which to choose. And I’m glad we’re self-aware enough to know when it’s time for a change.

    I, too, am more motivated now, and things I’ve been struggling with for a long time are starting to budge. I am glad to see you and your family thriving as you all begin to embrace what’s best for you!